Issue 71, April 2006
Editor’s letter
We make no apologies for our continued love affair with Lara, and not just because there are few girls willing to let you look at their arses for nine hours straight. However, after the last game even we thought it might be time to call it all off. (“It’s not you darling… well, actually, it is”.) Angel of Darkness stunk the joint up so bad that its developer had Lara yanked out of its calloused hands. But now she’s back, having spent the last few years recuperating in the States. Is she better? You’d better believe it. As ever, the proof is in the playing, and on this month’s DVD you can sample a sizable chunk of Lara’s latest. Tomb Raider: Legend is a glorious return to form. Short, but oh so sweet. It’s not going to reinvent adventure gaming in the way that her PSOne debut did, but what it definitely will do is restore Lara to her rightful place at gaming’s top table. More than anything, it’s just good to have her back. She’s an icon – and the world of Playstation wouldn’t be the same without her. Soppy letters to LC aside, elsewhere we examine the latest shockers heading your way, a thorough investigation into the potentially massive Da Vinci Code game and the first shots of Rainbow Six: Vegas on PS3. Elsewhere, you can prove your gaming supremacy by passing the OPS2 Diploma and meet the smallest Cockneys ever. Biggest achievement this month: writing all this without mentioning Lara’s arse once. What?
Tim Clark, Editor
Features
The OPS2 Diploma – This fiendish gaming quiz has 40 tough questions. You must answer them all correctly to earn your diploma!
Can you crack The Da Vinci Code’s brain-bending blockbusting conspiracy? – The Da Vinci Code
Want to see something really scary? – A Horror special, including the likes of Forbidden Siren 2, Rule of Rose and the Silent Hill movie.
A-Z of Gangs of London – Gangs of London
Monthly Articles
Funny Nicknames – This month, what would you like to steal?
Could be a Classic – This month, PQ: Practical Intelligence Quotient. Solve puzzles to discover how clever you are in real life! Or look up the answers on GameFAQs, I won’t judge. Much.
A Brief History – Retrospectives of some of PS2’s most popular franchises. This month, Silent Hill.
Replay – Online reviews for TOCA Race Driver 3, Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland, Rugby League 2 and Street Fighter Alpha 3 Max, and what the other mags said about Black, Commandos Strike Force, Project Zero 3: The Tormented and The Plan.
OPS2 Investigates – This month, OPS2 Perfect 10s. Revisiting every game to have scored a coveted 10/10 so far… as well as, for good measure, the 1/10s and Hologram Time Traveller, the only game to date to score 0/10. I promised way back in Issue 3 that there was another one, and you won’t have to wait much longer now.
Endgame – Game endings. This month, Manhunt.
Monitor
Hitman: Blood Money – “The perfect hit is hard work. But slipping through a mission, bagging the target and getting out without anyone realising is one hell of a rush. There’s also tons of different ways to do each level.” Boiling
Flatout 2 – “Aside from the novelty of watching your driver fly through the air, this is shaping up to be a seriously speedy and satisfying racer. Sharp looks plus a wealth of modes mean there’s plenty of chassis-dinging fun.” Hot
Championship Manager 2006 – “Looks like the classic franchise is back on form.” Hot
Daxter – “Everything you’d expect from a Jak adventure, except Jak. The linear mission setup lets you explore between jobs and there’s loads of variety. And it looks great too. Seems Daxter didn’t waste his gap year.” Hot
Super Monkey Ball Adventure – “We’re embarrassingly excited about this. The visuals are strong, there’s a vast amount of modes, and even the platforming stuff sounds solid. Only a total gameplay disaster can spoil it… [kisses lucky monkey’s paw.]” Meltdown
Viewtiful Joe: Red Hot Rumble – “Total madness, and not necessarily in a good way.” Warm
Spyhunter: Nowhere to Run – “Banish all memories of previous Spyhunters to the back of your mind. Woo and the Rock are kicking, smashing and exploding new life into this once-great arcade series.” Boiling
Metal Gear Acid 2 – “Still struggling to get your head round the whole turn-based card-flipping Metal Gear thing? Get over it. This is shaping up to be quality stealth action. Get involved.” Hot
Final Fantasy XII – “The finished game will need a fighting system with more depth and strategy. Right now it’s like a playground bundle as you shout orders from the sidelines with no guarantee that anyone’s listening.” Hot
Sega Rally 2006 – “We’ll be searching for four-leaved clovers, collecting rabbit’s feet, and praying to the great oil-smeared god of racing that Sega Rally 2006 gets fixed before anyone even starts to consider releasing it here.” Tepid
PS2 Reviews
Tomb Raider: Legend – “Legend is a largely tremendous update of the classic Raider template, only let down by the short lifespan and lack of challenge.” 8/10
The Godfather – “An extremely average crime sim bolted onto a much-loved licence, this just proves that you can’t buy class. Not horrific, just freakin’ dull.” 6/10
Fight Night Round 3 – “No massive innovations, but a neat fine-tuning job confirms Fight Night as the uncontested heavyweight champion of boxing games.” 9/10
Pro Evolution Soccer Management – “A reasonable management sim that’s hindered by its parent game’s success and a glaring lack of licences. Stick with the real thing.” 6/10
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams – “Will appeal to first timers, but the changes made will alienate many of Onimusha’s staunchest fans. A grower, but vintage ‘musha it ain’t.” 7/10
Armored Core: Nine Breaker – “As accessible as a David Lynch film dubbed into Russian and probably about half as much fun, Nine Breaker might keep mech lovers happy, but it’ll leave everyone else cold.” 4/10
The Sword of Etheria – “A playable hack-‘em-up that delivers big on colourful enemy kills, but loses out because you’re so reliant on dumbass AI teammates to aid you along the way.” 6/10
G1 Jockey 4 – “An unorthodox, immersive sports game that requires some hard graft, but will provide you with plenty of enjoyment in exchange.” 7/10
Panzer Front AUSF.B – “Substandard for a PSOne game – there’s almost zero presentation, excitement, action, graphical flourish or indeed point. We could go on, but it’s too depressing.” 2/10
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King – “Dragon Quest looks sensational, plays tightly and lasts like a marathon-running robot. Not for casuals but a hardcore delight.” 9/10
Sonic Riders – “An undercooked cartoon racer that once again blemishes the once-great Sonic name. Only the sense of speed prevents total unplayability.” 5/10
Knights of the Temple II – “With more loose ends than a fistful of hair, the missions could be tighter. But the action and exploration make this a quality budget title.” 7/10
World Series of Poker – “Another attempt to cash in on poker’s current online renaissance. But with no cash and terrible graphics it’s a bum-deal.” 5/10
Shamu’s Deep Sea Adventures – “An enjoyable underwater escapade with plenty of nice touches. It’s aimed at youngsters, but even the over-nines will get some enjoyment out of it.” 7/10
Family Board Games – “They’re called ‘board games’ for a reason – they should be played on a piece of wood, against real people – not solo on your PS2. End of.” 3/10
World Racing 2 – “World Racing 2 offers loads of cars to try out, shortcuts to find, and career options to play, but you won’t bother because the racing itself just isn’t up to scratch.” 5/10
Guitar Hero – “An absolute classic. Simple to play but hugely rewarding, challenging and entertaining like nothing else on PS2. You need this game.” 9/10
Buzz: The Big Quiz – “The PS2’s premier quiz show party game gets a decent new set of questions? That’s the right answer!” 8/10
Gene Troopers – “Rubbish. Oh, and you can’t play at all without a memory card; when you die your options are ‘reload’ or ‘return to death screen’. What? WHAT?” 3/10
Winx Club – “Impressively colourful and absolutely faithful to the TV show, there’s nothing particularly wrong about this; but the spoon-fed levels lack any serious challenge.” 6/10
Chicken Little – “Fine, if slightly soulless. The corporate sheen makes us feel queasy, but there’s no denying it’s a playable, if simple, tie-in.” 7/10
Rebel Raiders: Operation Nighthawk – “Brilliantly average; surprisingly enjoyable flying, wrapped in a no-expense-at-all package.” 5/10
Truck Racing 2 – “A perfect recreation of the thrill-less experience that is road haulage: slow, cumbersome and ugly. Avoid this.” 2/10
PSP Reviews
Football Manager Handheld – “Slick like Ronaldinho tip-toeing his way across Camp Nou’s immaculate turf, this addictive sim gives its rivals an emphatic thrashing.” 8/10
Splinter Cell Essentials – “The classic series has been lovingly translated for PSP. It’s a great stealth fix, although you do want to switch the lights on sometimes.” 8/10
Ape Escape P – “Hideo Kojima might love it, but first-time monkey-wranglers will wonder what all the fuss is about. The original games are better.” 6/10
Samurai Warriors: State of War – “Tasty combat and a fresh strategy system make this a rare beast indeed: a Samurai Warriors game that surprises and excites.” 7/10
Mega Man Powered Up – “There’s little skill, speed or urgency to any of the platforming/shooting action – making this another ignominious entry in Mega Man’s CV.” 4/10
From Russia With Love – “It looks good, it plays good, and it does handheld multiplayer as well as anything out there. Bond and PSP make perfect bedfellows.” 8/10
Bust-a-Move Ghost – “Behind the new name and smattering of fresh features rests a creaky old game that can’t compete against its obviously-better-in-every-department rival.” 5/10
Outrun 2006: Coast to Coast – “Bright, highly polished, massively desirable and built to impress. Outrun 2006 shows the same class as the Ferraris it lets you race.” 9/10
Koloomn – “The new rotation mechanic takes some getting used to, but Koloomn proves complex, satisfying and horribly addictive. Good stuff.” 8/10
Disc Content
Playable Demos
Tomb Raider: Legend
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
FIFA Street 2
Rugby 2006
Fight Night Round 3
Marc Ecko’s Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure
Suikoden Tactics
Footage
24
Trivia
* New additions to the Spy section this month include Snapped!, a section for new screenshot updates and trivia that wouldn’t quite go anywhere else, and Kerr-ching!, where readers send in the receipts of games they bought at ludicrously low prices.
* There’s also a story on an early version of Resident Evil 4, in which Leon fought hook-handed ghosts and bloody dolls in a haunted castle. This version of the game was rejected for being too much like Devil May Cry. Fittingly, Devil May Cry started out as Resident Evil 4, but was retooled into its own game for deviating too much from the standard Resi style, so this is effectively going full circle.
* Sega Rally 2006 was only released in Japan and South Korea. Maybe that scathing preview put Sega off releasing it here?
* The Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams review seems a bit too generous to me, considering that it’s mostly negative, with only the final paragraph leaning slightly more positive. Emphasis on slightly.
* Knights of the Temple II is a rarity: a budget game sequel that really is a sequel, as opposed to putting a number in the title to grasp at legitimacy (Looking at you, Anubis 2.) Go to the blog post for Issue 47, and you will find the review for the first game there. Buy them both and you too can drive the Saracens out of the Holy Land. Deus Vult!
* Francis Ford Coppola and the estate of Mario Puzo were very unhappy with The Godfather game, believing that the film was cheapened by the game. As a result, the game (and its sequel too) is considered non-canon.
Quote of the Month: “Balancing the speed and control correctly is difficult like finding the setting on your shower dial exactly halfway between ‘liquid nitrogen’ and ‘magma’.” It’s so frustrating having to get the shower settings just right.
Cover price: £5.99
Page Count: 146
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