Issue 64, October 2005
Editor’s letter
Enjoy that? Good, because we’re just getting started. Pro Evo 5 is the first shot of a devastating salvo of exclusive reviews that also includes Burnout Revenge, Conflict: Global Storm, Spartan: Total Warrior and The Suffering: Ties That Bind. In each case we’ve argued long, hard and with shamefully high voices over the scores. I won’t spoil the verdicts, but let’s just say it’s an embarrassingly good month to be a PS2 gamer. Normally at this point, I’d bang on about all the other ace stuff we’ve crammed in. Like the first playtest of whiskey-soaked western Gun, a love letter to all things evil and our expose of the San Andreas sex scandal. But I’d rather use this space to make an apology. See, last month we awarded Lumines a commendable 8/10. What we hadn’t counted on, however, was just how deep the obsession would bite. Entire train journeys have evaporated in a blizzard of rotating puzzle blocks and weekends have dissolved in the sweet glow of collapsing two-tone superstructures – all soundtracked by deliciously cool techno you imagine only ever gets played in clubs populated by girls with impossibly pretty eyes and unusual haircuts. So we’re bumping the score up to 9/10, as you can see from this month’s PSP bible, which contains need-to-know info on all the machine’s features, plus expanded reviews for all the launch games. But it’s all about the Lumines. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing a whole screen’s worth of blocks melt in a haze of light and disco. Before we crack on, a word about the chronically-neglected Killer 7. I completed the mind-breaking adventure recently, and it’s got a zinger of a twist. Seriously, it’s amazing and you need to play it.
Tim Clark, Associate Editor
Features
Hustling, Whoring & Bar-room Brawling – Gun. This feature has two Lisa Ralphs on the same page!
Eight games that want to weird you out – Including Okami, We Heart Katamari, Psychonauts and more.
We Love Evil – Resident Evil 4. Primarily, this feature goes over some of the PS2 exclusive features, but there’s also a sneak preview of Resident Evil 5.
Monthly Articles
Funny Nicknames – This month, what’s in your pocket?
Could be a Classic – This month, Spinout. What if Super Monkey Ball was a racing game?
Replay – Online reviews for Formula One 2005, Mortal Kombat: Deception and Juiced, and what the other mags said about The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction, Fantastic Four, Gametrak Real World Golf and Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction.
OPS2 Investigates – This month, Hot Coffee. The timeline of the San Andreas sex scandal and its resulting fallout.
Monitor
Soul Calibur III – “There’s something for everyone in Soul Calibur III, from the simpler one-on-one battles through to character customising and the detailed Chronicle of the Sword mode. We simply cannot wait.” Meltdown
The Warriors – “We dig it. The missions are deeper and more diverse than expected, plus the fighting engine and visual detail are top quality. You might not have heard of the film, but you’ll want to play this.” Boiling
FIFA 2006 – “A much better, but still not quite beautiful game.” Warm
WRC: Rally Evolved – “It’s never been done before, but the game’s random event system is making way for a new kind of rally experience. We can’t wait to get back in the driving seat.” Hot
King Kong – “Finally, a movie-licenced game that doesn’t make us want to choke on our own popcorn. Playing King Kong you’re quickly caught up in the epic story of a giant monkey with a soft spot for blondes.” Meltdown
Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland – “Bigger is definitely looking better for the Hawkster.” Hot
From Russia With Love – “It’s got the Bond life blood pumping through its veins, we just hope there’s as much juice in the levels we’ve not seen. A far more promising candidate for 00 status than Goldeneye: Rubbish Agent ever was.” Boiling
True Crime: New York City – “It remains to be seen whether this can step up to compete with GTA, but we like the new star a lot more than the old kung fu fighting Nick Kang. Much hinges on how the good cop/bad cop dynamic will play out.” Hot
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – “New magic system and co-op could make this sparkle.” Warm
PS2 Reviews
Pro Evolution Soccer 5 – “Pro Evo 5 is pure simulation, so may scare off many, but no other game has captured football so beautifully.” 10/10
Burnout Revenge – “Burnout Revenge is better than B3: Takedown, which makes it the best arcade racer available and an absolute must-buy.” 10/10
Heroes of the Pacific – “Never surprising but always competent – in the air, at least – HOTP is happily playable, but in no way essential.” 7/10
Conflict: Global Storm – “Full of gripping action, this is by no means a huge step forward for either the series or the genre, but it’s great baddie-bashing fun.” 8/10
Madden NFL 2006 – “The best American football game: deep, realistic and rewarding, but only true devotees will get the best from it.” 9/10
Beat Down: Fists of Vengeance – “Annoying, boring and just plain embarrassing, Beat Down: Fists of Vengeance needs flushing away rather than playing.” 3/10
Musashi Samurai Legend – “Not too hard and hardly a Final Fantasy or even Kingdom Hearts rival, but a nice slice of RPG-lite for in-between times.” 7/10
Spartan: Total Warrior – “Just shaded by God of War, but still worth a 9/10. Spartan’s combat is so good it makes every massacre the purest of joys.” 9/10
187 Ride or Die – “A just-about-adequate gameplay experience, but the childish, in-your-face presentation is insulting and, frankly, rather horrible.” 5/10
The Suffering: Ties That Bind – “This is not for the faint hearted, but it is a cleverly shocking and enjoyable demon-blasting game for those who can take it.” 8/10
Kuon – “A competent chiller for the already-converted, that could have used an injection of adrenaline and a less bizarre plot.” 6/10
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – “What sweetness Charlie has is spoilt by poor signposting, a spasm-happy camera and irritating glitches. Watch the film, read the book, avoid the game.” 3/10
Pilot Down: Behind Enemy Lines – “A decent enough adventure, although hardly impressive. Pilot Down’s tense survival action is let down by some truly dim enemy AI. Shame.” 5/10
Eyetoy Kinetic – “An interesting use of the Eyetoy technology, but most of it is still the usual hand flapping, only a bit faster and longer.” 6/10
Resident Evil Outbreak File #2 – “Resident Evil is about to evolve into Resi 4, but Outbreak has got left behind. It may finally be online, but it’s nothing too special.” 7/10
ATV Offroad Fury 3 – “The off-road racing is appealing, even if the handling’s unpredictable. ATV is far from perfect, but it certainly has its moments.” 7/10
Echo Night Beyond – “Well presented and with a lovely atmosphere, it’d be worth a punt for 20 dabs were it not for the tragically dull and repetitive gameplay.” 5/10
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie’s Revenge – “Surely not even the goth-liest of Burton-lovers want to be this miserable. Slow, far too simplistic, horribly confusing and terminally dull.” 4/10
Midway Arcade Treasures 3 – “A blight on the name of retro gaming. This collection ranges from ‘meh’ to bloody awful. You’ll get more nostalgic digging your old mobile phone out for a game of Snake.” 3/10
Fahrenheit – “Fahrenheit’s ambition is let down slightly by its brevity, but you know something’s good when you’re left wanting more.” 8/10
PSP Reviews
Burnout Legends – “This is an impressive port of the Burnout back history. It’s (mostly) excellent fun and absolute proof that it works on handheld.” 8/10
Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade – “A decent attempt at cramming an RPG on to PSP but it only fits because all the good stuff has been left out.” 6/10
Coded Arms – “Once the ‘oh, it’s a shooter for PSP!’ gloss wears off, this is fairly unremarkable. The fact that levels are randomly generated makes it – literally – too random to love.” 5/10
Playable Demos
Burnout Revenge
Conflict: Global Storm
Crash Tag Team Racing
Everybody’s Golf
Fahrenheit
SLAI: Steel Lancer Arena International
Wild Water Adrenaline
Footage
King Kong
AND1 Streetball
City of the Dead
Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter
Buzz: The Music Quiz
America’s Army: Rise of a Soldier
Heroes of the Pacific
Okami
Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones
Stargate SG1: The Alliance
The Making of Tony Hawk’s American Wasteland
Goal of the Month
Game Saves
Gran Turismo 3
Jak and Daxter
Final Fantasy X
Kingdom Hearts
Killzone
Spider-Man 2
Need for Speed Underground 2
Call of Duty: Finest Hour
Pro Evolution Soccer 4
Trivia
* As you can see from the picture, this issue’s cover is double-sized, folding in on itself when you close the magazine.
* The Lumines score change in the editor’s letter is notable, as while there has been the odd re-review before, this is the first time that a game’s score has been changed.
* Speaking of scores, this is also the first issue to have two 10/10 scores in one month.
* In yet another first, there are no new entries to the Hot 100 this month.
* There’s a news story on the Fragdolls, a group of female gamers organised by Ubi Soft to make appearances at press events and gaming shows. Interestingly, one of the members is former OPS2 contributor Kirsten Kearney, who wrote the She’s Got Game column.
* Kuon and Echo Night Beyond are among the rarest, most expensive games on PS2, so it’s quite a coincidence to see them both reviewed in the same issue. I wonder if anyone who bought them on release suspected how highly sought after they would become.
* To coincide with the even more hardcore approach of Pro Evolution Soccer 5, there's no religious gimmick this year. It's either that or the Cult of PES got done for tax evasion.
* Crash Tag Team Racing has the best loading screen ever if you’re under the age of 12 and/or deeply immature, as mashing the face buttons will make all sorts of burp and fart noises!
* This issue has not one, but two Save Points. The second strip was a reader-submitted one, which I’ll include here as an unofficial bonus strip for you.
Quote of the Month: “Here’s your f***ing food you f***ing f**k!” The world’s most foul-mouthed waiter.
Cover price: £5.99
Page Count: 146
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