Issue 63, September 2005
Editor’s letter
Putting together this month’s all-you-can-eat football buffet, there have been times when I’ve felt less like Jose Mourinho and more like Harry Redknapp. It’s been a case of frantic wheeler-dealing – desperately trying to squeeze in a few more big names before the transfer window slams shut. But, debilitating stomach ulcer notwithstanding, it’s been worth it. Ensconced within the soundless confines of this issue you’ll find the full scoop on FIFA’s reinvention. This year EA is absolutely determined to deliver a game that scores as well as it sells. Starting on page 70, you can read exactly what we think of the results. But of course, it would be remiss of us to ignore the competition – and on page 82 you can see how we got on against John Terry at Pro Evo 5. But before that, spin to the start of Spy and check out the first shots of Pro Evo on PSP. You’ll find them next to the first ever images on Eminem in the 50 Cent game. I said, big names and lots of ‘em. We’ve also managed to cram in more King Kong shots than any other PS2 mag, the first screens of Resi 5 on PS3, a private look at Lara’s latest and forced the new Burnout and Need for Speed games into a death-or-glory drag race. So plenty for all the non-football fans, too. (Hi, Dad.) And with the PSP’s 1 September launch now within fondling distance, we’ve also rated the first 25 games as part of our brand new handheld section, which becomes ‘fully operational’ on page 105. The PSP launch line-up is incredibly strong – and with big hitters like GTA: Liberty City Stories and Pursuit Force on the way, the future’s bright for Sony’s new baby. One note of caution, though – if you drop yours in the pool, don’t come crying to us.
Tim Clark, Associate Editor
Features
Welcome to Skull Island – King Kong. This feature is done in the style of a comic again following the success of the Fantastic Four feature that did this.
Need for Speed Most Wanted VS Burnout Revenge – The two racers get pitted against each other, with Burnout emerging as the victor.
We Can Rebuild Him – FIFA 2006
Swords are the New Guns – A collection of sword-based action games, including Spartan: Total Warrior, Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, Soul Calibur 3 and more.
Look, We’re Playing John Terry! – Pro Evolution Soccer 5
Monthly Articles
Funny Nicknames – This month, what would you reinvent?
Could be a Classic – This month, Th3 Plan. Commit heists from three different perspectives (hence the silly title).
Replay – Online reviews for Area 51, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory and Moto GP 4, what the other mags said about Medal of Honor: European Assault, Brian Lara International Cricket 2005, Batman Begins and Formula 1 2005, and The Boot Room.
OPS2 Investigates – This month, Making the best games better. Ideas include Prince of Persia: Future Edition, playing as the guards hunting Snake in Metal Gear Solid, going to prison in Grand Theft Auto with the option to serve out your sentence or try breaking out, and more.
Did We Really? – OPS2 dig up their old shames to point and laugh at them. This month, did we really cover a man in bacon? There’s photographic evidence from the first time round, if you want to go back to Issue 33 and look at it again.
Monitor
The Suffering: Ties That Bind – “Darker than a funeral in a mineshaft and bloodier than an exploding abattoir, Ties That Bind successfully ups the ante with tighter gameplay and truly unsettling shlock-horror gore.” Boiling
Fahrenheit – “Fahrenheit is still intriguing, and that’s a good thing.” Hot
Conflict: Global Storm – “This isn’t an earth-shattering advance in the world of squad-based action games, but it is shaping up to be a rewarding, intelligent shooter thanks to its logical controls and sharp troops.” Hot
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006 – “Tiger’s only learnt one new trick since we last took a long walk with him, but it’s a decent one. However, we’re concerned a new-fangled spin system isn’t enough to justify another update.” Warm
Michigan: Report from Hell – “A great idea done badly. Unless the voice acting is redone, the story rewritten and the game redesigned this won’t be worth a look even with the supposed erotic content.” Tepid
Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks – “First Lara, now this. The old games revival continues. If you thought it was over for Mortal Kombat then think again. Shaolin Monks is everything you could want from the series and more.” Boiling
Total Overdose – “Shooting people for prizes is an oddly addictive experience and the action is relentless. Total Overdose manages to mix guns and an extreme-sports scoring system to create an excitingly twisted action game.” Boiling
Crash Tag Team Racing – “Unoriginal but it does have some multiplayer sparkle.” Warm
SSX on Tour – “We’re massive fans of the SSX series, and that’s why we’re being a bit hard on it. Skiing is a welcome addition, but hopefully On Tour has a few more tricks up its salopettes, or this could feel rushed.” Hot
WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2006 – “Big words from a big man, but Shelts clearly knows his Smackdown! We’re even more certain this year’s game is going to cram an obscene amount of wrestletainment into its lurid stockings.” Boiling
Resident Evil 4 – “As the days and weeks go on, we get happier. Happier in the knowledge that soon – very, very soon – the finished game will be in our hands. Resident Evil 4 could well be our next 10/10, it’s that good.” Meltdown
We Heart Katamari – “Cool and unusual, Katamari Damacy is so far from the likes of Medal of Honor that it’s on another planet. Sure, it’s a niche hardcore-pleaser, but there should be fun in here for everyone.” Boiling
PS2 Reviews
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction – “Without the constraints of a film tie-in, Hulk is free to roam far and wide. It’s a festival of destruction; not pretty, but fun.” 7/10
Big Mutha Truckers 2: Truck Me Harder – “The second best trucking game on PS2 (after 18 Wheeler), which is a bit like bragging about being the second tallest man in Lilliput.” 5/10
Armored Core: Silent Line – “You don’t need huge, expensive controllers to enjoy a decent mech game, but it does help if you have a decent mech game. This, sadly, is most definitely not one.” 4/10
Ys: The Ark of Napishtim – “Not groundbreaking or awe-inspiring but an old idea well-executed and, simply, a really nice world to be in. RPG newcomers should start here.” 7/10
Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction – “At every turn Conspiracy either frustrates, bores or flabbergasts with crude graphics and dull-as gameplay. Don’t waste your cash.” 2/10
Fantastic Four – “About as challenging as beating kittens with a stick, and only slightly less shameful. Keep it at a super-stretchy arm’s length.” 3/10
Colosseum: Road to Freedom – “Taking a deeper approach to gladiator combat than Shadow of Rome, this is quite a lot of fun. If only the camera was up to scratch.” 6/10
Black Market Bowling – “Like bowling? Get Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. The bowling mini-game in that is way better than this.” 3/10
Alpine Skiing 2005 – “Not only is this a surprisingly full game for a budget title, but there’s also currently little on PS2 like it. Rough, but worth a look.” 6/10
Gametrak Real World Golf – “Not as pretty or as comprehensive as Tiger Woods, Real World Golf scores highly for its uniquely faithful control system. Impressive.” 7/10
Saint Seiya, Knights of the Zodiac: The Sanctuary – “Not a bad reserve team effort, but there’s nothing here to make you want to buy it over Tekken 5 or Soul Calibur 2. Only obsessive fans need apply.” 6/10
Madagascar – “If you enjoyed the film, then don’t tarnish its memory with this sloppy waste of space. The small child in your life deserves better.” 4/10
Yu Yu Hakusho: Dark Tournament – “Even if it weren’t incoherent it would still be a mess. Like a drunk in a doorway it makes no sense, is no fun to deal with and is potentially dangerous.” 3/10
Wild Water Adrenaline – “This at least proves that a canoeing game could work, but overall we’re left feeling damp. Not in a good way, either…” 5/10
PSP Reviews
Ridge Racer – “If you only buy one PSP game, it must be this. Near perfect in its execution, this is one of the most expertly judged racers ever made.” 9/10
Everybody’s Golf – “Sticks it to the golf ‘man’ with some, like, far-out attitude, but crucially backs it all up with truly entertaining play.” 8/10
Metal Gear Acid – “Only the Metal Gear faithful will bother mastering the card system, but this is nevertheless a playable if underwhelming spin-off.” 7/10
Tony Hawk’s Underground 2 Remix – “Few games are better at filling up a few spare minutes. Longer plays do expose bottlenecks but there’s plenty of variety all-round.” 8/10
Medievil: Resurrection – “It might be an old game remixed, but it’s still well presented slapstick action – not quite essential, but close.” 7/10
NFL Street 2 Unleashed – “It would’ve been nice to see more PSP-specific features, but this remains a satisfying, enjoyable and easy to follow American football experience.” 7/10
World Snooker Challenge 2005 – “Whether you play WiFi or solo, this is a comprehensive and sweetly optimised snooker experience for PSP. The analogue cue control is a particularly nice touch.” 7/10
NBA Street Showdown – “The whole thing is slickly produced, but NBA Street Showdown never feels that much fun to play. A definite case of style over substance.” 6/10
Spider-Man 2 – “Fun like fireworks – nice flash but nothing that lasts. It’s a lightweight adventure that has good bits, just not enough of them.” 6/10
Need for Speed Underground Rivals – “Cookie cutter street racing done exactly as you’d expect. Might keep you occupied but certainly won’t blow you away.” 6/10
Colin McRae Rally 2005 Plus – “Nice looking but easy to get lost in, Rally 2005 Plus has its moments, but is generally too frustrating for the PSP format.” 6/10
Smart Bomb – “This should have been addictive. Instead you’ll be hard pushed to squeeze out your money’s worth. An infuriating disappointment.” 3/10
Wipeout Pure – “Gaming genius on a tiny, shiny disc. An amazing racing experience you can take with you wherever you want.” 8/10
Ape Academy – “Over 45 mini-games long, this just tips the balance in favour of fun – we’d have preferred fewer, but longer challenges though.” 7/10
Mercury – “It may be a little short-lived, but Mercury is hugely inventive and visually distinctive with yonks of replay value. Roll on Mercury 2…” 8/10
Formula 1 – “Formula 1 looks good, but the racing feels overly simplistic and fails to generate any real excitement – it’s more David Coulthard than Fernando Alonso.” 6/10
Darkstalkers Chronicles: The Chaos Tower – “A trip down memory lane that conclusively proves 3D fighters are just plain better, and makes us realise how much we want a good one for PSP.” 6/10
Virtua Tennis: World Tour – “Virtua Tennis has always been a great sports series, but on PSP it’s found its spiritual home. Very enjoyable.” 8/10
Lumines – “Totally ingenious and mesmerising. The ingenious mix of music and puzzles make Lumines an unforgettable and addictive dose of fun.” 8/10
World Tour Soccer: Challenge Edition – “A solid if shallow effort. Great fun at first but without a league option World Tour Soccer remains a very competent stop-gap rather than a genuine title-contender.” 7/10
Fired Up – “Reasonable single-player action and a great multiplayer mode (assuming you’ve got enough mates to make up the numbers.)” 7/10
TOCA Race Driver 2 – “TOCA might not be as instantly accessible as Ridge Racer, but it’s almost as ace. Solid, responsive and with tons of replay value.” 8/10
Dynasty Warriors – “Nothing new but plenty to enjoy. Dynasty Warriors seems at home on PSP, providing short bursts of satisfaction. Good stuff.” 7/10
Midnight Club 3: Dub Edition – “Doesn’t feel like a ‘made for PSP’ game, hence it’s all a bit squashed in and uncomfortable. Racing games need more room to breathe.” 7/10
ATV Offroad Fury: Blazin’ Trails – “Not a patch on the PS2’s own ATV games. The handling’s all over the shop and the game design is knackered by several other serious flaws.” 5/10
Disc Content
Playable Demos
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction
187 Ride or Die
Brian Lara International Cricket 2005
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006
Musashi Samurai Legend
Tekken 5
God of War
Juiced
Footage
Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams
Tomb Raider Legend
Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat
Brian Lara International Cricket 2005
Burnout Revenge
Hitman: Blood Money
Goal of the Month
Game Saves
Gran Turismo 3
Jak and Daxter
Final Fantasy X
Kingdom Hearts
Killzone
Spider-Man 2
Need for Speed Underground 2
Call of Duty: Finest Hour
Pro Evolution Soccer 4
Trivia
* This is the last issue for Reviews Editor Michael French.
* Between John Terry in the Pro Evolution Soccer 5 feature, Shelton Benjamin in the WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2006 preview, and an interview with Thekla Roth for 187 Ride or Die, this issue has quite a bit of star power.
* The review for Colosseum: Road to Freedom notes that it is an otherwise excellent game ruined by one major flaw, a bad camera in this case, and without that issue, the score would have been higher.
* Unreleased game fans will be interested in this issue’s demo disc due to the inclusion of a trailer for a PS2 version of Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth. Lucky Xbox and PC players got, but unfortunately not us PS2 players.
* Wow, the PSP sure had a lot of racing games in the launch line-up, didn't it?
Quote of the Month: “Conspiracy: Weapons of Mass Destruction is a first-person shooter, but only in the way that the stripped, burning chassis of a Lada Riva is still a car, or the bloated carcass of a mongrel washed in on the tide is still a dog.” Ouch, that’s even more savage than last month’s quote of the month!
Cover price: £5.99
Page Count: 146
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