Issue 68, January 2006
Editor’s letter
I never take photographs. Not ever. Not of friends, family, bedroom play… nothing. Why? Because I believe you should keep moving, never looking back. Much like a shark, but with a hunger for new gaming experiences rather than surfers with cramp. And so you join us on the most ruthlessly forward-thinking games mag around. A bold claim, but one that’s backed up this month by our 32-page guide detailing the future of Playstation. Lara leads the way with Tomb Raider: Legend, but she’s joined by a brigade of blockbusters-in-waiting like Black, 24 and The Godfather to massive sequels such as Driver Parallel Lines and Splinter Cell: Double Agent. We’ve also scoured the world to find the latest on the quirkiest, most innovative games on all three formats: PSP, PS2 and PS3. Stuff like Dark Sector, Infected, Metronome, Ryu Ga Gotoku and many more. We’re here to bring you these games first. In fact, we breathe newness. And you know that by keeping it Official, you’re guaranteed to be playing these games months before your mates, thanks to our demo disc. This issue we bring you TOCA Race Driver 3 – a game that won’t be out until the end of February. Make sure you sink some time into Battlefield 2: Modern Combat as well, as it’s every bit as good as our 9/10 review suggests. One final word on the future: By coincidence, on the same day that our colleagues took delivery of Xbox 360, Shadow of the Colossus arrived on my desk ready for review. Crowds immediately formed around both areas of the office, but guess which one dispersed with a collective ‘meh’ first. The review on page 94 provides the answer. New gaming experiences? You’re in the right place…
Tim Clark, Associate Editor
Features
The Best 20 Games of the Year – A celebration of the best 20 games of 2005… or it would be, but there are only 19 games on the list! I’ve counted over and over just to check I’m not missing something, but I swear there are only 19 games there. Notable snubs include Devil May Cry 3, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, Tekken 5, Star Wars Battlefront 2 and Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, so just pretend that whichever of those is your favourite is number 20.
The Future of Playstation is Here! – This massive feature goes over 45 upcoming games of 2006 and beyond across PS2, PS3 and PSP, with special focus on the likes of Tomb Raider: Legend, Driver: Parallel Lines (revealing the game’s massive twist in the process), The Godfather, 24 and Splinter Cell: Double Agent.
We Only Crashed Once – Ben Richardson makes a brief return to test drive four racing cars on a real track, before comparing them to how they drive in TOCA Racer Driver 3.
New Year Revolution! – 12 gaming cliches that should have died in 2006, including exploding barrels, stealth, escort missions and urban.
Monthly Articles
Funny Nicknames – This month, what are you giving up this year?
Could be a Classic – This month, Popolocrois, an old-skool PSP JRPG.
Replay – Online reviews for Star Wars Battlefront 2, Jak X, Battlefield 2: Modern Combat and Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, and what the other mags said about Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones, True Crime: New York City and Need for Speed Most Wanted.
OPS2 Investigates – This month, What have these got in common? An introduction to Blu Rays, the PS3’s disc format of choice.
Endgame – Game endings. This month, both the good and bad endings of The Suffering: Ties That Bind.
Monitor
SOCOM 3: US Navy SEALs – “SOCOM’s evolution seems spot on, with a sound single-player game, massive maps and team-friendly vehicles. It’s all very encouraging, but online play is going to be 3’s ultimate proving ground.” Boiling
Asterix and Obelix XXL 2 – “The first XXL was an average platform adventure. XXL 2 looks like more of the same.” Warm
Sonic Riders – “The oversimplified, derivative style of racing doesn’t win us over just yet. In its current state it’s enjoyable but lacks any real edge or challenge. There are still a few months before release for it to gain depth though…” Warm
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King – “The simple but enjoyable combat, Saturday morning cartoon feel and the possibility of exploring a huge location have got us excited. The relentless random battles though, have not.” Hot
Rogue Trooper – “True to the 2000AD story in every way, this could be the best comic-to-game crossover yet. We said ‘could’, mind. It looks the part, has some great ideas but a proper hands-on will be the acid test.” Hot
Castlevania: Curse of Darkness – “Looks like an extremely poor man’s Devil May Cry.” Tepid
Tourist Trophy – “With Polyphony’s trademark obsession with realism and an impressively convincing riding model, Tourist Trophy currently looks on course to become the biking equivalent of Gran Turismo. Time to air your leathers…” Boiling
Phantasy Star Universe – “Even the most RPGphobic among you should consider visiting Sega’s gloriously colourful solar system. Think of it like Star Wars meets Final Fantasy, but without the rubbish bits, and you won’t go far wrong.” Boiling
Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War – “This overlooked series deserves to be enjoyed by more than just hardcore flight fans and Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War looks like being the best entry yet. Time to earn your wings non-believers…” Hot
And 1 Streetball – “Wait, they’ve taken the massive dunks out? Um…” Warm
Guitar Hero – “Guitar Hero rocks harder than any other rhythm-based game on PS2, dominating the office’s attention like little else this month. Publishers: stop making Big Sequel 4: The Shootifier and release this now!” Meltdown
PS2 Reviews
Shadow of the Colossus – “Huge and beautiful, but hopefully not as doomed as its beasts, Colossus deserves to sell ten times what Ico did.” 9/10
Crime Life: Gang Wars – “As sensitive as a hammer in the face and only slightly more fun. There are plenty of other GTA clones out there better than this.” 4/10
Cabela’s Big Game Hunter 2005 Adventures – “Shouldn’t be fun, but it is. Playing for too long might turn you into a blood-thirsty hunting cretin though, so probably best avoided.” 4/10
Shrek Super Slam – “Too easy and too short but Shrek Superslam still manages to continue the current happy trend of film conversions – or in this case, ‘inspired bys’ – that are less than terrible.” 6/10
London Racer: Police Madness – “There was never any danger of Police Madness scoring a perfect ten, but it’s nothing like the turkey we expected. There’s plenty worse out there at full price.” 5/10
London Racer: Destruction Madness – “After Police Madness, concrete proof that lightning doesn’t strike twice. The idea is reasonable enough, but the gameplay definitely is not.” 3/10
Smarties: Meltdown – “Nobody loves chocolate enough to see past Meltdown’s shoddy design and bland, forgettable gameplay. Avoid like a hammer to the teeth.” 1/10
Crazy Frog Racer – “Crazy Frog Racer sucks the fun out of your day with rubbish track design, drab visuals and insultingly light content.” 2/10
Spongebob Squarepants: Lights, Camera, Pants! – “Hardly deep, but an entertaining set of party games for your younger brother or sister that you may just get a kick from too.” 6/10
The Incredibles: Rise of the Underminer – “Does a pretty decent job of capturing the spirit of the film and provides some mindless laughs. Kids will love it too – trust us, we checked.” 6/10
Ski Racing 2006 – “It’s serious like a shattered collarbone, but Ski Racing captures the Zen-like swoosh of weaving through blue gates admirably. For sheer fun, though, SSX 3 still rules the pistes.” 6/10
Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy: The Mis-Edventure – “Trying to shut an eight-year-old up for ten minutes? Tell him Santa doesn’t exist instead. He’ll still hate you, but there’ll be less long-term psychological damage.” 3/10
Bratz: Rock Angelz – “In a hyphenated word: vomit-inducing. Unpleasant, exploitative drivel aimed at girls who would almost certainly have more fun staring at a blank TV set.” 2/10
Codename Kids Next Door: Operation Videogame – “Buying this for a kid isn’t as bad as calling them Guinevere or making them learn macrame, but it’s close. Get them a copy of Jak 3 instead and they’ll love you.” 3/10
Franklin: A Birthday Surprise – “A lazy stab at raking in the kiddie pound which is neither particularly educational nor entertaining and looks like a refugee from 1992.” 4/10
Kaido Racer – “So random and confusing it’s unnerving. So awkward and unrewarding to play that we suggest you don’t.” 4/10
Friends: The One With All the Trivia – “Inoffensive and surprisingly non-repetitive, this does exactly as the title suggests, but only an ardent fan will get any lasting enjoyment.” 4/10
Shaman King: Power of Spirit – “An interesting fusion of two very different game types – it’s just a shame they’ve been cobbled together so crudely.” 4/10
PSP Reviews
WWE Smackdown VS Raw 2006 – “If you don’t already own the PS2 game, this is a must-have. If you do, then it’s not quite so essential, but a quality grappler nonetheless.” 8/10
Championship Manager – “Even with its glitches, Champ Man serves up an absorbing round of footy management on-the-move. Our faith is restored – for now.” 6/10
The Sims 2 – “Rather than port the PS2 game, The Sims 2 on PSP is a tailor-made experience that hooks you early on and doesn’t let go. A superb game.” 8/10
Disc Content
Playable Demos
TOCA Race Driver 3
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Urban Reign
Pilot Down: Behind Enemy Lines
Footage
Twisted Metal Head-On
The Making of Genji
Sly Cooper and the Gang in: Goodbye My Sweet (Part 1)
3D Face-Digitisation Technology
Trivia
* The best games of 2005 feature also includes the top 5 most disappointing games. True Crime: New York City is number 1, described with terms such as repetitive, nauseating and embarrassing. With this in mind, last month’s 7/10 review score may have been too generous.
* Not to be outdone by the Resident Evil 4 chainsaw controller, Dragon Quest VIII comes with a Slime controller. It doesn’t look nearly as cool, but that’s made up for by the fact that it isn’t completely impractical to actually use for its intended purpose.
* This month’s intriguing unreleased game: The City of Metronome. This game involved using sound to make your way through an eerie city. The game’s developers, Tarsier, went on to make Little Nightmares, which feels like a spiritual successor in some respects. There are even a few references to Metronome hidden in Little Nightmares.
* Shadow of the Colossus deserves to sell far more than 120 copies! Sorry, I know I’m being facetious, but I just couldn’t resist!
* Speaking of Shadow of the Colossus, it carries this review section even harder than Metal Gear Solid 2 did when that was reviewed. Colossus aside, this may well be the worst month ever in terms of review scores.
* I’m not sure if this was intentional or an error, but the quotes for each score category for the Spongebob review are the same ones as the last issue’s Crash Tag Team Racing review.
* Games that would never be released today #12: Smarties Meltdown. Why not? It's a game about a brand of chocolate. Is that really the best licence you could get? I've played it, and it's just a generic platformer, with the only connection to the source material being that you control a smartie. I hesitate to call it an in-name-only adaptation, if only because there was nothing there to adapt in the first place.
* The PS2 cliches feature has texting as one of the entries: “If somebody has to check their inbox to know you hate them, you’re not trying hard enough.” Funny at the time, but sadly not as much nowadays in the age of social media and cyberbullying.
Quote of the Month: “The secret to working on long-term projects is similar to the secret of surviving a protracted war.” Hideo Kojima seems to be getting tired of working on Metal Gear Solid. You would be too if death threats for leaving the job were your incentive to stay!
Cover price: £5.99
Page Count: 146
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